EmpowerHER Leadership: Closing the Confidence Gap for Middle School Girls

Dr. Robbin (Dr. B) Bibbs, PhD, Assistant Director Student Learning Center and Development, Harvard-Westlake School

Dr. Robbin Bibbs serves as Assistant Director of the Student Learning Center and Development at Harvard-Westlake School. Her work focuses on leadership development, student confidence, and creating supportive environments that empower middle school girls to build resilience, self-advocacy, and leadership skills.

This article is based on an interview between Education Technology Insights and Dr. Robbin Bibbs, focusing on leadership development, confidence-building, and support systems for middle school girls.

Understanding the Confidence Gap in Early Adolescence

Middle school represents one of the most important developmental stages for building leadership identity, confidence, and self-esteem in girls. Research has continually shown that the confidence gap between boys and girls begins to emerge during early adolescence, even when girls demonstrate equal or higher academic performance. The Confidence Code for Girls Study (Kay & Shipman, 2018), found that confidence in girls’ significantly drops between ages 8 and 14, declining by nearly 30 percent during middle school years.

This period is critical because middle school is when students begin forming their academic identity and self-perception as leaders, problem-solvers, and decision-makers. For girls who internalize self-doubt may begin avoiding risks, leadership roles, or challenging tasks even when they have the ability to succeed. When confidence declines, participation in leadership opportunities, classroom discussions, and academic persistence can also decrease.

Why the Confidence Gap Emerges

Several factors contribute to the development of the confidence gap among middle school girls. Research on adolescent development shows that social expectations, perfectionism, fear of failure, and gender stereotypes often begin to intensify during this stage of development. Scholars Brown and Gilligan (1992), in their work on girls’ identity development, found that many girls begin losing self-confidence and self-efficacy during early adolescence as social pressures increase.

Girls often receive messages both explicit and subtle that discourage them from taking risks or leadership roles. They may also feel pressure to be perfect academically or socially, which can lead to self-doubt and hesitation to try new challenges. In contrast, boys are often encouraged to take risks even when they are unsure of success. Without intentional support from schools and families, this gap can widen as girls progress through adolescence.

The Role of Schools in Empowering Girls

Middle schools play a powerful role in helping girls develop leadership identity and confidence. Research examining leadership development programming for adolescent girls highlights that schools significantly influence girls’ belief in their ability to lead (Perets, 2023). Schools that intentionally create opportunities for girls to practice leadership such as student councils, classroom leadership roles, project-based learning, and mentorship programs— help students build both confidence and leadership skills.

School strategies that empower girls include

• Encouraging girls to lead group projects and classroom discussions

• Creating girls’ leadership clubs or mentorship programs

• Highlighting female role models in leadership

• Teaching growth mindset and resilience skills

Such strategies contribute to normalizing the idea that girls can lead, speak up, and influence their communities.

Experiential Leadership Opportunities Matter

Research on youth leadership programs also shows that experiential learning learning by doing is essential for developing leadership confidence. Studies conducted on adolescent leadership programs highlight that girls build confidence when they are given real opportunities to practice leadership, reflect on their experiences, and receive mentorship support.

Programming that allows girls to lead activities, mentor younger students, organize school events, or present ideas to peers help transform leadership from an abstract concept into a lived experience. These opportunities reinforce the idea that leadership is not limited to adults or high-achieving students it is a skill that can be learned and practiced.

The Critical Role of Parents

Parents and caregivers play a significant role in shaping girls’ confidence and leadership development. Research shows that when parents emphasize effort, persistence, and problem-solving rather than perfection or comparison, girls develop stronger self-esteem and leadership self-efficacy.

Parents can help close the confidence gap by:

1. Praising effort instead of outcomes

Statements such as “I’m proud of how hard you worked” encourage a growth mindset.

2. Encouraging risk-taking

Allow girls to try new activities even if they may fail.

3. Modeling confident behavior

Children learn leadership behaviors by observing adults.

4. Teaching problem-solving skills

Ask questions like “What do you think your next step should be?”

These practices reinforce resilience and independence while reducing fear of failure.

Teaching Leadership and Self-Advocacy Skill

Leadership and confidence are closely connected to self-advocacy skills, allowing girls to communicate their needs, ideas, and perspectives effectively. Schools and families can teach these skills through intentional practice.

Effective strategies include:

• Role-playing difficult conversations

• Teaching girls to use assertive communication

• Encouraging participation in debates, presentations, and public speaking

• Providing peer mentorship opportunities

Research on leadership development for adolescent girls emphasizes that opportunities to develop communication, decision-making, and collaboration skills significantly increase leadership confidence.

When girls feel capable of expressing their ideas and advocating for themselves, their confidence naturally increases.

Addressing Perfectionism and Fear of Failure

Perfectionism can also contribute to the confidence gap. Girls, who believe perfection is critical to their success, may avoid opportunities where failure is possible. Educators and parents can counteract this mindset by emphasizing learning through mistakes.

Practical approaches include:

• Teaching students that mistakes are part of learning

• Sharing stories of leaders who experienced setbacks

• Celebrating progress and improvement rather than perfection

• Encouraging reflection after challenges

By reframing mistakes as learning experiences, adults help girls develop resilience and courage to take intellectual risks.

Building School Cultures that Support Girls

Creating environments where girls feel seen, valued, and encouraged is essential for closing the confidence gap. Programs such as Girls on the Run, a research-based youth development initiative, have demonstrated that structured empowerment programs improve girls’ confidence, emotional regulation, and leadership skills.

Schools that integrate social-emotional learning (SEL), mentorship, and leadership opportunities foster environments where girls are more willing to participate, share ideas, and pursue leadership roles.

EmpowerHER Takeaway

Closing the confidence gap between middle school boys and girls is not simply about academic achievement it is about empowering girls to see themselves as capable leaders.

When schools intentionally provide leadership opportunities, parents encourage resilience and independence, and educators’ model growth mindset, girls begin to develop the confidence needed to thrive academically, socially, and emotionally.

By investing in girls’ leadership development during middle school, we are not only building confident students we are nurturing the next generation of innovators, problem-solvers, and community leaders.

Empowering girls today ensures that tomorrow’s leaders are confident, courageous, and ready to shape the world.

Leadership Development